


Pain and Happiness

by NCTDream (JustChase)



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Character Death, Dark Past, M/M, Past Abuse, Past Child Abuse, Past Relationship(s), Past Underage Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-26
Updated: 2018-06-26
Packaged: 2019-05-28 23:14:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,597
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15059930
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JustChase/pseuds/NCTDream
Summary: Sicheng goes through a lot of pain and then some happiness.--------This isn't spell checked, I actually typed this out while I was at work and mobile so bare with me.I hope you guys like it though.





	Pain and Happiness

People say you're pathetic when you're always sad and telling people how you feel or even pulling the pity card, Sicheng knew that wasn't true. He knew that everyone had their own amount of sadness, their own amount of baggage. Hell, if you didn't have any he'd think something was wrong with you. 

Maybe that's what led him to how he viewed others; with a polite and caring way, no matter how mean they could be to him. Maybe this also led to his suicidal ways and his serious bout of depression, something he had learned to hide all these years. Something he didn't want to show others for fear of being too vulnerable, something he wouldn't allow to happen. 

People would say he came from a good family, but that was just the image people set aside of him mostly due to the fact his conscience wouldn't allow him talk bad about anyone. Not even the people who put him through psychological and physical pain. The ones who scared him and caused him to have more baggage then the average person. 

Sicheng's mother was a drunk and his father wasn't any better. His mother was nice to him when she was sober, his father not so much. He'd spend time abusing the boy when he was a child, beating him and telling him how stupid he was for needing extra help with school and how he could never match up to anyone. How he couldn't do anything and that he'd amount to nothing and probably drop out of school. 

The constant reminder of his stupidity continued to weigh him down and even when his mother left his father, nothing got better. If anything it got much worse, because she took up to drinking more often than not and would beat him and get mad at him for everything. Blame him for the things that be did wrong, everything was his fault and yes he knew that and yes he tried to make things easier for her. That is until he finally lashed out, all his anger and sadness came out all at once. Something he wished he hadn't done because next thing he knew he was leaving with his father. 

His mother ended up reporting him to the police, saying that Sicheng had harmed her and that she didn't want him around anymore. He was only 13 at the time, his mother probably wanting to get rid of the poor boy so that she could party and have fun with her friends. It wasn't a surprise that years later he heard that she had died from a drug overdose, having popped too many pills and snorted too much coke to the point her body couldn't handle if anymore. The news didn't really bother him, something that probably should of but be felt more relief then anything else. 

When his mother so willingly left him, the police located his father and when they found him it seemed he was doing much better. So much better, he even had a new family and Sicheng had 3 half siblings. Siblings who were simply disgusted with who he was, saying mean things about him and his mother. A woman he protected even if she had caused him so much pain, but one thing was for sure: he wanted out from the cycle of abuse. 

The abuse didn't ever seem to stop, it continued for years until he was 17, finding his way to South Korea on an exchange trip his father had so graciously paid for. A trip he'd have to work to pay back when he was able to. Probably cleaning the house while the family went away on a lavish vacation, something he had never had the luxury to attend due to not actually being a part of the family. 

When he was in south Korea, he met someone the males name happened to be Taeyong and he had to say that man was absolutely breathtaking in every form of the word and every way he was able to show it. His style was impeccable, something that caught the eyes of boys and girls alike. Sicheng still wondered what the boy saw in him, something that bothered him when he first said hello to him. 

Sicheng was quite lately awestruck that the person he was crushing on had actually spoken to him. How the person he had fantasized about for weeks was sitting in front of him scribbling something on a piece of paper and passing it to him. The paper had the male's phone number on it, something that had him staring at the small slip as the older male spoke to him about wanting to take the boy out on a date.

After that it was like a whirlwind and sicheng couldn't dream of being any happier. That is until he realizes Taeyong was messing with other people, which was okay because they weren't actually dating, they were just going on dates and occasionally sleeping together. Something that didn't necessarily constitute as dating, something that eventually ate him alive as the relationship went on, Taeyong telling sicheng he loved him and wanted to be with him as long as he was able to, something that wasn't true at all. 

He was only 19 when he found out the sad truth. Taeyong had no intentions of actually dating him exclusively and the relationship had pulled on for two years, two years until he finally spoke up and asked him one question. 'do you actually plan on being in a relationship with me?' it was hard for him to come forward and ask. Taeyong had made sure to tell the boy the truth and the truth hurt him so much. 'you're too broken, you wouldn't be able to last if it was just us together. You'd end up leaving me and it would hurt both of us.' It wasn't a lie, he did have some issues with commitment, but he really loved Taeyong. It was evident the feelings were one sided, but that didn't stop him from begging taeyong to fuck him that night, wanting to have one last time where he was so lost in pleasure he could forget all his outside troubles for once. 

That's the last time, he got up early that day and left before Taeyong even woke up, taking his motorbike out for a long spin before he too headed to his own place. Crying himself to sleep and making himself sleep for days, not wanting anyone to see. He even stopped going to class, not wanting to see Taeyong and it was pretty evident that the older male had no intentions of checking up on him, tossing him to the side like everyone else had. 

It was that same year that he went back to China, that same year he couldn't bare the pain anymore and a bottle of pills was the only way he could get out. The only way he could finally end all the pain and suffering, but that didn't seem to be how things went. His father found him in his bedroom with slightly blue lips, as if he wasn't able to breathe and that's the night his father showed that he cared, showed that he didn't want to lose him. That was the one and only time he showed it. 

Now years later after all the pain and tragedy it was no wonder that sicheng had decided to move to a new place, not wanting anything to do with anyone who knew him. That's possibly why he applied to a university in the United States, easily getting in and meeting another boy, someone he didn't want to let in. Someone who made him happy even though he was kept at arms length. 

The boys name was Johnny, but sicheng preferred to call him by his Korean name for it was far more beautiful; Youngho. It was a wonder that Johnny had even fallen for him, trying to keep the older male as far away from him as he was able to. That is until Johnny saw what he was, a depressed sod trying to cover up everything with a smile.

He was the first one who held him and told him everything was going to be okay, that he wouldn't leave him. Johnny held him until the sobbing had ended and even held him throughout the night, not wanting to leave him alone, at least not until he was some semblance of okay. Johnny was the first person who stayed true to their words and it had been nearly 10 years since that day, 7 years since they got married, and 5 years since they adopted their son Chenle. 2 years since Johnny had passed away after heart complications. 2 years since the last time Sicheng had broken down, 2 years since he came to honest concluding and resolution.

Sicheng was sad, very sad, but for once in his life, he kept his act together for their son who was only 3 years old at that time. He didn't want Chenle to see him broken and sobbing, after all young kids were very impressionable and he didn't want him to go around saying that his daddy was sad. No, instead he stayed strong and kept his act together, something that helped him to this day. 

It helped that he didn't dwell on the sadness in his life any longer, helped that he only dwelled on the love and happiness he had once and still did have today.


End file.
